Just a place to come and blog ... and share thoughts about all that is happening in the world ... and in life.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Welcome to my little corner of the world!
Thanks for stopping by my Blog! Share your hopes and dreams for this coming year ... and meet up with old 'Friends of the Blog'. And ... have a wonderful day!
It's a beautiful and new day here in sunny Florida! A little rain has fallen ... and things look fresh ... and 'anew'. And I'm starting off the new year feeling excited and hopeful about the coming year. I look forward to hearing from many of my Blog Friends over the coming days! Please come back and visit often!
i had forgotten you live in florida. you just bought a new home, didn't you? i wish i could have bought your condominium you sold. *lol* it's a beautiful and new day here in cloudy, rainy, chilly maryland. *lol* life is good, and i'm glad to be alive. i'm definitely looking forward to new and great things in 2007.
Hi Sylvia! I sent you an Email ... but yes ... I'm in Florida. Sounds like we were having similar days today - except for your cold ... and my heat. : )
I actually am just getting ready to sell now. I have an investor who is interested in buying 'as is' - which is great for me. Anyway - there is more on that in my Email. : )
WEll, I'm here a little late for the midnight festivities. I'm taking a rain check on holidays and waiting for something really good to happen before I truly celebrate. For me, romance took a dive this holiday season, twice—I moaned about it all over my blog. So when prospects get better they will really BE GOOD and I will enjoy it so much!
The SITE is fantastic! The photos are journeys in themselves. I am proud to have a blog included and it's great to have other's blogs all listed; we're lined up like soldiers! Freedom of speech is one of the most important things we have today.
I really haven't thought about 2007. My daughter just told me she has minimized her "college plans" and needs to have complete support and keep our home intact for the 2007-08 season. I'm so disappointed that she is not ready to go out and take the world by the collar and swing it around so I can do the same. That was not in my master plan and the idea sits in my stomach like cast iron. However there may be benefit in remaining static for the moment. I feel like I can't start my life until she starts hers, and that is certainly not true; just an erroneous feeling. When I was her age I was out the door so fast, long before I turned 18. I guess this just means I am an awesome Mom since she wants to keep on living with me.
Our great snow left within one day but we had beautiful snow pack and skiing all Christmess break. I worked at Ski Hill everyday and it was so much fun.
Hi Lady Base Camp! So good to see you again! And I can really relate to much of what you write!
Guys/Romance ... I've been so 'out of the loop' - for too long. I'm just trying to get my feet wet again ... and venturing out again. It's scary ... but fun too. I had my first date in years - just before Christmas. It was disappointing - but a good 'practice' - for future dates. But I'm committed to getting back out there ... and trying to connect with someone. Not because I 'need' it ... but just because I like it ... and think it is finally time.
Though my boys have been gone for a long time ... I can appreciate your comments about not starting your own life - until your daughter leaves. I do that ... not with a child ... but with other things in my life. Like - 'I can start living my life once I sell my home' ... or 'get a new job' ... or 'something'. I seem to find all kinds of things that hold me back from living 'fully' ... and I'm tired of that. So ... I'm getting ready to make some big changes ... big 'moves' in my life. And I'm excited. It's like 'the deciding' has freed me ... and now I can 'act'. And I feel like I am starting the process ... and it feels good. : )
I'm traveling to south FL tomorrow (Lauderdale/Miami) - to do an event on a Yacht ... and will be back on Sunday ... but I'll be checking in from time to time. So good to be back in touch again!
Hi Brenda, it's so good to have you back with us. Happy New Year! For me, 2007 will be a year of continuing what I began last year. I have lost almost 50 lbs (gulp!) since last Christmas and I vow to keep going until I reach my goal. Pleased to say I'm almost there, but it's always hard to lose that last bit. I also vow to be more open in the romance department. Fear of being hurt again keeps me from being myself with men I find attractive, but I must be brave. Finally, I really must show more self-discipline and get that book finished. Well, you heard it here. So no more excuses for me, right?!! HAH!!!
Thanks for stopping by! And ... Wow! Fifty lbs! That is terrific. Good for you! I need to follow your lead ... and get working on that myself. I lost 15 last year ... but have more to go. I really need to get into some regular exercise ... and that's one of my main goals this year. You are a great inspiration for that ... and you look amazing!
And I'm with you on being more open in the romance department ... and not allowing the fear of being hurt to keep us from moving forward. But - you know - it's hard. I just had an experience ... and this is probably as good a place as any - to share the 'little hurt' that just came to me. So ... here goes:
True Confessions of a Bloggette:
I haven't been on a date in a long time. I guess about three years. The last guy I dated - I really liked. But I had just had surgery ... still had stitches ... and kept him 'at bay'. If you do that long enough ... guys will go away. And he did. So ... it's been a while.
Recently, I've gotten back into the Match.com stuff - and decided to really ‘do it’ ... instead of just checking it out and ignoring anyone who wrote to me. I've had some interesting communication - but really wasn't very open with most of the guys who got in touch with me. There are a couple that I'm interested in ... and have had off and on Email communication with ... but that is as far as it has gone. Maybe they are as hesitant as I am. We have great interaction back and forth. And it’s fun. And they are beginning to feel like ‘old friends’ … that one day I might meet.
At any rate - just before the holidays I heard from this guy - and he seemed very nice. So ... I got brave ... and responded warmly ... and gave him my distinctive ring # to call. We had several nice conversations - while we tried to sort out a time to get together - in the midst of family events and traveling. I finally plunged forward - and told him I was available the Friday before Christmas ... so we planned to meet. I knew he was leaving to go out of town the next day - so I figured it would just be a short meeting.
Four hours later ... and only ice tea (for me) and Diet Coke (for him) that was paid ‘Dutch treat’ ... we left. With a little bit of relief - I didn't hear from him again. Until tonight.
I wanted to like him. And I wanted things to work out. But there were just no 'feelings'. Because I didn’t hear from him … I figured that the ‘non-feelings’ were mutual. : )
Tonight – I get an Email from him. It wasn’t very nice. I’m wondering … how do you respond – when someone says hurtful things to you? When they don’t even know you? Here is just a part of what he wrote (oh yes – there was more - and I can't bear to put the worst of it down in writing for others to see) … but here is some of what I wish I could say to him … but probably won’t:
He wrote: Sorry I haven't connected with you, but I spent a lot of time thinking of what to say.
She wrote:I’m thinking – not enough time. My Mom always said – if you can’t say something nice … don’t say anything at all. I wish he hadn’t said anything at all.
He wrote: I think you're a really nice person and I am attracted to you, as well, but...........
She wrote: I wasn’t at all attracted to him … but if I was … I don’t think this is the approach that I would take … if I ever wanted to see him again.
He wrote: I could be all wrong, but wanted to be up front with you, because I'm not sure if I've met the real you or not.
She wrote:Hmmmm. So maybe he met the ‘unreal’ me? And … wouldn’t time allow you to decide if someone was just nervous the first time out … or if they were truly ‘fake’. I’m sure he met the real me. But the real me just ‘wasn’t really into him’.
He wrote: This is hard to put down, so please don't be offended.
She wrote:Of course I’m offended. And hurt. It hurts. I don’t know why. Because I don’t know him. I don’t like him. I don’t plan to ever see him again. But … it still hurts. People writing things to you that are unkind … just hurts.
He wrote: I hope your holidays were good ones.
She wrote:Seriously? After making stabs at the way that I am … he really truly cares about my holidays. I doubt it.
He wrote: peace,
She wrote:Peace? Fortunately – my peace doesn’t come from someone like him. Ironically – one of my favorite verses does give me a certain amount of peace – at this moment: John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
There is a certain irony in those words. And comfort.
Oh! I forgot my favorite part! The Subject line! It read: Happy New Year!
Is it just me? Or is that really weird? Why would someone greet you with a 'Happy New Year!' ... and then proceed to criticize? Or maybe ... because I've left out the most hurtful things ... it's hard for you to read between the lines?
Anyway ... what do you think?
Any words of wisdom?
Any others who have had puzzling responses or comments made to them? Online … in person … on the phone?
Any kind/helpful/humorous comments to sooth the bruised and fragile ego writing before you here? : )
It’s January 2nd … of 2007. And I’m not going to be afraid … because of one guy. : )
Oh Brenda - what a jerk! All but one man I've met over the last several years just haven't called back. Just as well as I "wasn't into him" either. But one man had the gall to go straight home to email me that we weren't a match. Um...yeah! I disliked him even more than he considered me to not be for him! But I wasn't about to say it in an email. I think Miss Manners needs to write up a list of "how to" when meeting through the internet, seeing as that's how it seems to be these days. I know I could use some tips, for sure!
Thanks Leslie. You are so right! But - you know - I don't think people like that would read 'Miss Manners'. I wrote back to him - and said I was trying to figure out why he wrote to me. And said that if he was attracted to me - did he really think that I would want to see him again after what he wrote.
I usually wait 24 hours before sending something - when I am emotional. So that I won't be responding 'in the heat of the moment'. But I decided that the heat of the moment was the best kind of response in this situation. At the end - I told him that I got no peace from his Email - only sadness.
The irony is - that I was not at all attracted to him ... and there were many things about him that were 'red flags' for me ... but I would never have written and told him things that would have 'shot him down' ... and then interspersed nice little comments like 'happy new year!' (with an exclamation mark - no less) ... 'hope you had good holidays' ... and 'peace' in between all of the unkind words.
Maybe later - when I am less 'stung' - I'll post what he wrote that was most upsetting ... and my response. Maybe.
Well ... I am off to bed now. Leslie, thanks for 'listening'. Funny ... how you can feel heard and understood ... from so many miles away. Thank you!
I leave tomorrow morning - really early - for Ft. Lauderdale/Miami - but will check in when I am able.
wow, those are some interesting posts. some men are just JERKS! now, not all men, but some are. i even laugh sometimes at their jerkiness. (don't think that's a word, but i like it. *lol*)
the positive aspect out of those meetings is you all were willing to step out and take a chance. that took courage. i don't think you should be too concerned right now about not trusting anyone, because trust takes time. it's thru the emails, phone calls, and spending time with each other that you get to know one another. i'm thankful on each of your behalf that it didn't go on and on for months, where your hearts could have really gotten hurt. i know feelings got hurt, and i'm truly sorry for that, but at least they let you know upfront where they're coming from, and not dragging things on and on. you want to be compatible, so if that chemistry and compatibility isn't there, it's good to move on early. however, i do disagree with the way it's done sometimes, especially in your cases.
count it their loss and not yours. you each know the type of ladies you are, and everyone won't be compatible with you. there's someone out there just for you, and eventually you'll meet him, and get to know one another, and learn to trust each other, and fall in love.
what you're doing is a start, and that's how it all begins. i thought as we age, things would be different than when we were younger, that people would be more honest, caring, tactful, but from what i read and hear, men are still men, and women are still women, and relationships are relationships. not much difference sometimes in the way things are done, but hang in there because when the right one comes along, it'll be right, and you will know it. every guy isn't a jerk.
i'm glad you each got to see at the beginning, where you can keep moving on. i know on-line dating isn't for me, so i wait for a different way. i know it'll happen too, but in the meantime i'm becoming a better sylvia everyday so when that special someone crosses my path, we'll have something to offer each other. i'm learning to let go of my fears, my mistrusts, my inadequacies, as those are hindrances to any relationship, and i'm embracing the freedom to be me every day.
i think Brenda said it clear when she said, "i will not be afraid....because of one guy." some people have issues within themselves. it's not you, it's them. i just wanted to encourage you a bit.
have a good trip tomorrow brenda. i wish i could be on the yacht with you.
Thank you, Sylvia! I really appreciate your very thoughtful words! I want to respond more ... but it is midnight ... and I need to be up in four hours ... so I need to get to bed ... but I'll try to write more once I get to my room tomorrow night (in Miami).
Hi Brenda, Welcome to South Florida for a few days. On line dating is an experience for sure. I have met and talked to some interesting people for sure on Match.com. I also cancelled my subscription. I have found that most are not honest. And that is an understatement. The age thing is a big one. Why does a guy who is at least 60 pretend to be 49. They sure don't look or act 49. Too funny. And yes they can be hurtful just because they can. And face lifts do not count for the shaving of 11 years. I never posted a picture. So you really had to wade thru and go for the person first. I also think we are too good for what's on line. So I am just going to go with the flow of who I actually meet face to face. But thats just my opinion on on line dating.
I agree with what Carol posted here. Face to face is probably the best way to go esp. for me as I don't have access to the online dating sites from my little corner in the tropics.
Ladies, I am still not quite in that mode as yet to get out there in that great big jungle called the 'dating scene'.
However, I can assure you that when I do get back 'out there', it will be slowly, carefully , selectively and on very 'high alert'!
It's been forever since I've posted but couldn't resist peeking in on you.
I'm venturing into the dating arena too, with just my little toe to start. It's really hard as we all have so many defenses and walls built around out tender hearts. It'll take serious mountain climber to scale the one I have around mine.
My take on the emailing louse...he probably sensed you weren't into him when you first met and was trying to protect his fragile ego. That's no excuse for hurtful words, but some guys don't know how to talk like adults face to face.
I'll check back more often!! I have more photos posted from too many trips in '06 over on my blog. We're going to be homebodies in '07. See the USA. (not in a chevrolet)!
i've gotten a chuckle from the last 3 posts: sunni in her not chevrolet, miz high alert enid, and miss i think we're too good for what's online carol. *lol*
not feeling too well here-achy, sore, nauseated, head stopped up, but wanted to check email while i was up for a moment. back to bed.
Thanks Everyone!! So good to see Syvlia, Sunni, Carol and Enid!! Thanks for your comments! I don't have time to respond to everything - at the moment - as I am at the InterContinental in Miami - 8ish AM - and waiting for my client to stop by so that we can go for breakfast. Then I'm off to Lauderdale - so we can tear down the gear from the show - and then I'm heading down to Homestead to spend some time with my two Sisters. Can't wait to see them!
So ... I will write once I 'land' down there (of course - I'm driving ... so I guess I'll be 'crusing in'). At any rate ... I'm looking forward to commenting on what has been written ... and also to share the update to the 'Bloggette's Confessions'.
I stopped by to thank Brenda for posting on my blog, and run into a lively discussion of on-line dating. Very interesting! I have never tried it. The very incidence that brought us together, the BS "ad-venture", was disappointing enough. After seeing him on Ophra I said "there is a man that would interest me". And thousands of women thought the same. But once we got to know the man somewhat through his blog,the attraction faded away for many of us.
It got to be so much more difficult to find a partner by "mail", where one doesn't know how much is truth or fiction before ever meeting the person....
But what would life be without hope??!! May some of it become reality this year. So lets make it a great one, Ellen OOOXXOO Jan.6th,2007, 23:00 EST
I'm Baaacckk!! Just got back into town - from my trip to Lauderdale / Miami / Homestead! Will catch up tomorrow ... but just wanted to stop in to say, 'Hi' ... and thanks for the posts!
Thanks Sylvia and Leslie! It's good to be back! I'm pretty wiped out tonight (all of the fun is catching up with me - ha ha) ... so may not write much tonight ... but have lots of stuff that I want to write ... as soon as I'm a bit more rested.
Hello Again! Just popping in for a minute. Unfortunately ... tomorrow I am 'on the road again' ... as I have to drive across the state to Hammock Beach ... and back. It's four hours - one way! So it's going to be a very long day! We have a 'client emergency' to deal with - for an event that goes in two weeks. Friday I have to go to Orlando ... so I may just be stopping in here briefly - in the evenings ... until I make it to the weekend.
I did a good thing today though. I started back at Bally's - despite being so tired from all of the traveling. And - for dinner - I got one of their healthy shakes (Peanut butter, banana, skim milk, vanilla and soy) ... and had my green tea this morning ... Miso Soup for lunch. So ... getting the new year off to a good start. I re-packed my gym stuff - and plan to go to Bally's on the way home tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me - that I can stay with it!
Hope all of you have a great day! Will 'see you' tomorrow evening.
Hey there! Not lost ... just on show site on the East Coast (of FL) ... in Palm Coast at Hammock Beach. We just finished a big Founder's Celebration ... and The Wailers played tonight (of Bob Marley & The Wailers - w/o Bob Marley). Very cool! I just got back to the Villa at The Club at Hammock Beach - where we are staying. Not too shabby! : )
Will be traveling back across the state tomorrow ... and will be stopping in Deltona to see my youngest son, and his wife ... then home for four days ... before leaving for Leesburg (for a Women's Retreat) ... then immediately to the Airport - to fly out to Vegas on Sunday - 2/4. I'll be doing a big show for Bank of America - at the MGM Grande - and then be traveling back on 2/9. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Later!
Brenda
P.S. Met an interesting guy here. He's from Vegas ... and San Diego ... and may also get a place in Chicago - because he travels so much. He's also a Producer - but on the Entertainment side of the industry. The company he's with arranged for the Bands ... and brought in the audio ... we brought in all of the lights and widescreen HD video. Anyway ... has been fun. : )
very exciting career brenda. i know it feels good to be back out again, and the traveling is a blessing, especially since you don't have any little ones at home you have to run back to.
i'm glad bob marley wasn't playing with the wailers. i'd be concerned if he were. (probably a bad joke!)
Too funny, Sylvia! Yes - it would have been scary if Bob Marley was there - as he died in 1981. Sadly.
I do love that Rasta music though. : )
And I took a funny shot of our Project Manager - named Bob. I dubbed it 'Bob ____ and The Wailers' (don't want to put his last name - because he probably wouldn't appreciate that - ha ha). He was standing in the tech area - and The Wailers were behind him - and I took the shot. It was funny. At least I thought it was funny - at the moment. Maybe you had to be there. : )
I may try to post some of those pics - when I have a moment to breathe. I am still running, running, running!! I leave tomorrow for Leesburg ... then for Vegas on Sunday. It's a crazy time for me!
By the way - if you haven't been to Franny's Blog - you might want to pop over and post a message to her. Her Mom just passed away ... and she is dealing with all of 'the family stuff'. I know she would appreciate hearing from her fellow Bloggettes ... and Bloggers.
I'll be touching in from time to time ... when I am touching down. : )
My best to all of you!
Brenda
P.S. Sylvia ... I love the 'Tag' thing ... and will try to do it ... some day. : )
I've finally slowed down a little ... at least from the traveling standpoint. Still have lots of office work to do - as there is much to catch up on after being out of town so much. I can't really complain - because it is good to have work ... but it is a bit hard - when it is all jammed together in such a short space of time.
Now that I'm not traveling so much (for a bit) - I'm working on my plans to move. So ... I have lots to do to make that happen.
Anyway ... just wanted to stop in and give a little update ... and wish everyone well!
Thanks for stopping by my Blog! 
32 comments:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's a beautiful and new day here in sunny Florida! A little rain has fallen ... and things look fresh ... and 'anew'. And I'm starting off the new year feeling excited and hopeful about the coming year. I look forward to hearing from many of my Blog Friends over the coming days! Please come back and visit often!
Have a wonderful new day!
Cheers!
Brenda
HAPPY NEW YEAR BRENDA!
i had forgotten you live in florida. you just bought a new home, didn't you? i wish i could have bought your condominium you sold. *lol* it's a beautiful and new day here in cloudy, rainy, chilly maryland. *lol* life is good, and i'm glad to be alive. i'm definitely looking forward to new and great things in 2007.
enjoy the rest of your day!
hugs,
sylvia
Hi Sylvia! I sent you an Email ... but yes ... I'm in Florida. Sounds like we were having similar days today - except for your cold ... and my heat. : )
I actually am just getting ready to sell now. I have an investor who is interested in buying 'as is' - which is great for me. Anyway - there is more on that in my Email. : )
Have a great one!! Thanks for stopping by!
Cheers!
Brenda
WEll, I'm here a little late for the midnight festivities. I'm taking a rain check on holidays and waiting for something really good to happen before I truly celebrate. For me, romance took a dive this holiday season, twice—I moaned about it all over my blog. So when prospects get better they will really BE GOOD and I will enjoy it so much!
The SITE is fantastic! The photos are journeys in themselves. I am proud to have a blog included and it's great to have other's blogs all listed; we're lined up like soldiers! Freedom of speech is one of the most important things we have today.
I really haven't thought about 2007. My daughter just told me she has minimized her "college plans" and needs to have complete support and keep our home intact for the 2007-08 season. I'm so disappointed that she is not ready to go out and take the world by the collar and swing it around so I can do the same. That was not in my master plan and the idea sits in my stomach like cast iron. However there may be benefit in remaining static for the moment. I feel like I can't start my life until she starts hers, and that is certainly not true; just an erroneous feeling. When I was her age I was out the door so fast, long before I turned 18. I guess this just means I am an awesome Mom since she wants to keep on living with me.
Our great snow left within one day but we had beautiful snow pack and skiing all Christmess break. I worked at Ski Hill everyday and it was so much fun.
Hi Lady Base Camp! So good to see you again! And I can really relate to much of what you write!
Guys/Romance ... I've been so 'out of the loop' - for too long. I'm just trying to get my feet wet again ... and venturing out again. It's scary ... but fun too. I had my first date in years - just before Christmas. It was disappointing - but a good 'practice' - for future dates. But I'm committed to getting back out there ... and trying to connect with someone. Not because I 'need' it ... but just because I like it ... and think it is finally time.
Though my boys have been gone for a long time ... I can appreciate your comments about not starting your own life - until your daughter leaves. I do that ... not with a child ... but with other things in my life. Like - 'I can start living my life once I sell my home' ... or 'get a new job' ... or 'something'. I seem to find all kinds of things that hold me back from living 'fully' ... and I'm tired of that. So ... I'm getting ready to make some big changes ... big 'moves' in my life. And I'm excited. It's like 'the deciding' has freed me ... and now I can 'act'. And I feel like I am starting the process ... and it feels good. : )
I'm traveling to south FL tomorrow (Lauderdale/Miami) - to do an event on a Yacht ... and will be back on Sunday ... but I'll be checking in from time to time. So good to be back in touch again!
Take care,
Brenda
Hi Brenda, it's so good to have you back with us. Happy New Year! For me, 2007 will be a year of continuing what I began last year. I have lost almost 50 lbs (gulp!) since last Christmas and I vow to keep going until I reach my goal. Pleased to say I'm almost there, but it's always hard to lose that last bit. I also vow to be more open in the romance department. Fear of being hurt again keeps me from being myself with men I find attractive, but I must be brave. Finally, I really must show more self-discipline and get that book finished. Well, you heard it here. So no more excuses for me, right?!! HAH!!!
Hi Leslie!
Thanks for stopping by! And ... Wow! Fifty lbs! That is terrific. Good for you! I need to follow your lead ... and get working on that myself. I lost 15 last year ... but have more to go. I really need to get into some regular exercise ... and that's one of my main goals this year. You are a great inspiration for that ... and you look amazing!
And I'm with you on being more open in the romance department ... and not allowing the fear of being hurt to keep us from moving forward. But - you know - it's hard. I just had an experience ... and this is probably as good a place as any - to share the 'little hurt' that just came to me. So ... here goes:
True Confessions of a Bloggette:
I haven't been on a date in a long time. I guess about three years. The last guy I dated - I really liked. But I had just had surgery ... still had stitches ... and kept him 'at bay'. If you do that long enough ... guys will go away. And he did. So ... it's been a while.
Recently, I've gotten back into the Match.com stuff - and decided to really ‘do it’ ... instead of just checking it out and ignoring anyone who wrote to me. I've had some interesting communication - but really wasn't very open with most of the guys who got in touch with me. There are a couple that I'm interested in ... and have had off and on Email communication with ... but that is as far as it has gone. Maybe they are as hesitant as I am. We have great interaction back and forth. And it’s fun. And they are beginning to feel like ‘old friends’ … that one day I might meet.
At any rate - just before the holidays I heard from this guy - and he seemed very nice. So ... I got brave ... and responded warmly ... and gave him my distinctive ring # to call. We had several nice conversations - while we tried to sort out a time to get together - in the midst of family events and traveling. I finally plunged forward - and told him I was available the Friday before Christmas ... so we planned to meet. I knew he was leaving to go out of town the next day - so I figured it would just be a short meeting.
Four hours later ... and only ice tea (for me) and Diet Coke (for him) that was paid ‘Dutch treat’ ... we left. With a little bit of relief - I didn't hear from him again. Until tonight.
I wanted to like him. And I wanted things to work out. But there were just no 'feelings'. Because I didn’t hear from him … I figured that the ‘non-feelings’ were mutual. : )
Tonight – I get an Email from him. It wasn’t very nice. I’m wondering … how do you respond – when someone says hurtful things to you? When they don’t even know you? Here is just a part of what he wrote (oh yes – there was more - and I can't bear to put the worst of it down in writing for others to see) … but here is some of what I wish I could say to him … but probably won’t:
He wrote: Sorry I haven't connected with you, but I spent a lot of time thinking of what to say.
She wrote: I’m thinking – not enough time. My Mom always said – if you can’t say something nice … don’t say anything at all. I wish he hadn’t said anything at all.
He wrote: I think you're a really nice person and I am attracted to you, as well, but...........
She wrote: I wasn’t at all attracted to him … but if I was … I don’t think this is the approach that I would take … if I ever wanted to see him again.
He wrote: I could be all wrong, but wanted to be up front with you, because I'm not sure if I've met the real you or not.
She wrote: Hmmmm. So maybe he met the ‘unreal’ me? And … wouldn’t time allow you to decide if someone was just nervous the first time out … or if they were truly ‘fake’. I’m sure he met the real me. But the real me just ‘wasn’t really into him’.
He wrote: This is hard to put down, so please don't be offended.
She wrote: Of course I’m offended. And hurt. It hurts. I don’t know why. Because I don’t know him. I don’t like him. I don’t plan to ever see him again. But … it still hurts. People writing things to you that are unkind … just hurts.
He wrote: I hope your holidays were good ones.
She wrote: Seriously? After making stabs at the way that I am … he really truly cares about my holidays. I doubt it.
He wrote: peace,
She wrote: Peace? Fortunately – my peace doesn’t come from someone like him. Ironically – one of my favorite verses does give me a certain amount of peace – at this moment:
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
There is a certain irony in those words. And comfort.
Oh! I forgot my favorite part! The Subject line! It read: Happy New Year!
Is it just me? Or is that really weird? Why would someone greet you with a 'Happy New Year!' ... and then proceed to criticize? Or maybe ... because I've left out the most hurtful things ... it's hard for you to read between the lines?
Anyway ... what do you think?
Any words of wisdom?
Any others who have had puzzling responses or comments made to them? Online … in person … on the phone?
Any kind/helpful/humorous comments to sooth the bruised and fragile ego writing before you here? : )
It’s January 2nd … of 2007. And I’m not going to be afraid … because of one guy. : )
Peace!
Brenda
Oh Brenda - what a jerk! All but one man I've met over the last several years just haven't called back. Just as well as I "wasn't into him" either. But one man had the gall to go straight home to email me that we weren't a match. Um...yeah! I disliked him even more than he considered me to not be for him! But I wasn't about to say it in an email. I think Miss Manners needs to write up a list of "how to" when meeting through the internet, seeing as that's how it seems to be these days. I know I could use some tips, for sure!
Thanks Leslie. You are so right! But - you know - I don't think people like that would read 'Miss Manners'. I wrote back to him - and said I was trying to figure out why he wrote to me. And said that if he was attracted to me - did he really think that I would want to see him again after what he wrote.
I usually wait 24 hours before sending something - when I am emotional. So that I won't be responding 'in the heat of the moment'. But I decided that the heat of the moment was the best kind of response in this situation. At the end - I told him that I got no peace from his Email - only sadness.
The irony is - that I was not at all attracted to him ... and there were many things about him that were 'red flags' for me ... but I would never have written and told him things that would have 'shot him down' ... and then interspersed nice little comments like 'happy new year!' (with an exclamation mark - no less) ... 'hope you had good holidays' ... and 'peace' in between all of the unkind words.
Maybe later - when I am less 'stung' - I'll post what he wrote that was most upsetting ... and my response. Maybe.
Well ... I am off to bed now. Leslie, thanks for 'listening'. Funny ... how you can feel heard and understood ... from so many miles away. Thank you!
I leave tomorrow morning - really early - for Ft. Lauderdale/Miami - but will check in when I am able.
Everyone - have a great day!
Brenda
wow, those are some interesting posts. some men are just JERKS! now, not all men, but some are. i even laugh sometimes at their jerkiness. (don't think that's a word, but i like it. *lol*)
the positive aspect out of those meetings is you all were willing to step out and take a chance. that took courage. i don't think you should be too concerned right now about not trusting anyone, because trust takes time. it's thru the emails, phone calls, and spending time with each other that you get to know one another. i'm thankful on each of your behalf that it didn't go on and on for months, where your hearts could have really gotten hurt. i know feelings got hurt, and i'm truly sorry for that, but at least they let you know upfront where they're coming from, and not dragging things on and on. you want to be compatible, so if that chemistry and compatibility isn't there, it's good to move on early. however, i do disagree with the way it's done sometimes, especially in your cases.
count it their loss and not yours. you each know the type of ladies you are, and everyone won't be compatible with you. there's someone out there just for you, and eventually you'll meet him, and get to know one another, and learn to trust each other, and fall in love.
what you're doing is a start, and that's how it all begins. i thought as we age, things would be different than when we were younger, that people would be more honest, caring, tactful, but from what i read and hear, men are still men, and women are still women, and relationships are relationships. not much difference sometimes in the way things are done, but hang in there because when the right one comes along, it'll be right, and you will know it. every guy isn't a jerk.
i'm glad you each got to see at the beginning, where you can keep moving on. i know on-line dating isn't for me, so i wait for a different way. i know it'll happen too, but in the meantime i'm becoming a better sylvia everyday so when that special someone crosses my path, we'll have something to offer each other. i'm learning to let go of my fears, my mistrusts, my inadequacies, as those are hindrances to any relationship, and i'm embracing the freedom to be me every day.
i think Brenda said it clear when she said, "i will not be afraid....because of one guy." some people have issues within themselves. it's not you, it's them. i just wanted to encourage you a bit.
have a good trip tomorrow brenda. i wish i could be on the yacht with you.
have a good nite ladies,
sylvia
Thank you, Sylvia! I really appreciate your very thoughtful words! I want to respond more ... but it is midnight ... and I need to be up in four hours ... so I need to get to bed ... but I'll try to write more once I get to my room tomorrow night (in Miami).
Good-Night All!!
Brenda
Hi Brenda,
Welcome to South Florida for a few days. On line dating is an experience for sure. I have met and talked to some interesting people for sure on Match.com. I also cancelled my subscription.
I have found that most are not honest. And that is an understatement. The age thing is a big one. Why does a guy who is at least 60 pretend to be 49. They sure don't look or act 49. Too funny. And yes they can be hurtful just because they can. And face lifts do not count for the shaving of 11 years.
I never posted a picture. So you really had to wade thru and go for the person first. I also think we are too good for what's on line.
So I am just going to go with the flow of who I actually meet face to face.
But thats just my opinion on on line dating.
Have a fun time in South Florida.
Carol
I agree with what Carol posted here. Face to face is probably the best way to go esp. for me as I don't have access to the online dating sites from my little corner in the tropics.
Ladies, I am still not quite in that mode as yet to get out there in that great big jungle called the 'dating scene'.
However, I can assure you that when I do get back 'out there', it will be slowly, carefully , selectively and on very 'high alert'!
~Miz Enid
Hi Brenda,
Happy New Year!!!
It's been forever since I've posted but
couldn't resist peeking in on you.
I'm venturing into the dating arena too, with
just my little toe to start. It's really hard as we all
have so many defenses and walls built around out
tender hearts. It'll take serious mountain climber
to scale the one I have around mine.
My take on the emailing louse...he probably
sensed you weren't into him when you first met
and was trying to protect his fragile ego. That's
no excuse for hurtful words, but some guys
don't know how to talk like adults face to face.
I'll check back more often!! I have more photos
posted from too many trips in '06 over on my blog.
We're going to be homebodies in '07. See the USA.
(not in a chevrolet)!
Have a great 2007 Brenda and ALL,
Sunni
i've gotten a chuckle from the last 3 posts: sunni in her not chevrolet, miz high alert enid, and miss i think we're too good for what's online carol. *lol*
not feeling too well here-achy, sore, nauseated, head stopped up, but wanted to check email while i was up for a moment. back to bed.
have a great nite everyone!
sylvia
Thanks Everyone!! So good to see Syvlia, Sunni, Carol and Enid!! Thanks for your comments! I don't have time to respond to everything - at the moment - as I am at the InterContinental in Miami - 8ish AM - and waiting for my client to stop by so that we can go for breakfast. Then I'm off to Lauderdale - so we can tear down the gear from the show - and then I'm heading down to Homestead to spend some time with my two Sisters. Can't wait to see them!
So ... I will write once I 'land' down there (of course - I'm driving ... so I guess I'll be 'crusing in'). At any rate ... I'm looking forward to commenting on what has been written ... and also to share the update to the 'Bloggette's Confessions'.
Have a great day! Will be back at ya' soon.
Brenda
Happy New Year !!!
So now you must tell me girl.....how was your get togeather at new years eve ??
xxx
I stopped by to thank Brenda for posting on my blog, and run into a lively discussion of on-line dating.
Very interesting!
I have never tried it.
The very incidence that brought us together, the BS "ad-venture", was disappointing enough.
After seeing him on Ophra I said "there is a man that would interest me". And thousands of women thought the same. But once
we got to know the man somewhat through his blog,the attraction
faded away for many of us.
It got to be so much more difficult to find a partner by "mail", where one doesn't know how much is truth or fiction before ever meeting the person....
But what would life be without hope??!!
May some of it become reality this year.
So lets make it a great one,
Ellen
OOOXXOO
Jan.6th,2007, 23:00 EST
I'm Baaacckk!! Just got back into town - from my trip to Lauderdale / Miami / Homestead! Will catch up tomorrow ... but just wanted to stop in to say, 'Hi' ... and thanks for the posts!
Have a good one!
Brenda
welcome back brenda. glad you had a safe trip. looking forward to reading from you.
sylvia
Welcome home, Brenda. I'm so glad you're blogging again and look forward to more "stuff" from you.
Thanks Sylvia and Leslie! It's good to be back! I'm pretty wiped out tonight (all of the fun is catching up with me - ha ha) ... so may not write much tonight ... but have lots of stuff that I want to write ... as soon as I'm a bit more rested.
Hope all of you are having a good one!!
Later!
Brenda
Hello Again! Just popping in for a minute. Unfortunately ... tomorrow I am 'on the road again' ... as I have to drive across the state to Hammock Beach ... and back. It's four hours - one way! So it's going to be a very long day! We have a 'client emergency' to deal with - for an event that goes in two weeks. Friday I have to go to Orlando ... so I may just be stopping in here briefly - in the evenings ... until I make it to the weekend.
I did a good thing today though. I started back at Bally's - despite being so tired from all of the traveling. And - for dinner - I got one of their healthy shakes (Peanut butter, banana, skim milk, vanilla and soy) ... and had my green tea this morning ... Miso Soup for lunch. So ... getting the new year off to a good start. I re-packed my gym stuff - and plan to go to Bally's on the way home tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me - that I can stay with it!
Hope all of you have a great day! Will 'see you' tomorrow evening.
Take care,
Brenda
brenda, you got lost again!
Hey there! Not lost ... just on show site on the East Coast (of FL) ... in Palm Coast at Hammock Beach. We just finished a big Founder's Celebration ... and The Wailers played tonight (of Bob Marley & The Wailers - w/o Bob Marley). Very cool! I just got back to the Villa at The Club at Hammock Beach - where we are staying. Not too shabby! : )
Will be traveling back across the state tomorrow ... and will be stopping in Deltona to see my youngest son, and his wife ... then home for four days ... before leaving for Leesburg (for a Women's Retreat) ... then immediately to the Airport - to fly out to Vegas on Sunday - 2/4. I'll be doing a big show for Bank of America - at the MGM Grande - and then be traveling back on 2/9. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Later!
Brenda
P.S. Met an interesting guy here. He's from Vegas ... and San Diego ... and may also get a place in Chicago - because he travels so much. He's also a Producer - but on the Entertainment side of the industry. The company he's with arranged for the Bands ... and brought in the audio ... we brought in all of the lights and widescreen HD video. Anyway ... has been fun. : )
very exciting career brenda. i know it feels good to be back out again, and the traveling is a blessing, especially since you don't have any little ones at home you have to run back to.
i'm glad bob marley wasn't playing with the wailers. i'd be concerned if he were. (probably a bad joke!)
safe travels.
hugs,
sylvia
hi brenda, when you come back here, here's a little fun for you. you've been tagged. check out my blog entitled "i've been tagged."
take care,
sylvia
Too funny, Sylvia! Yes - it would have been scary if Bob Marley was there - as he died in 1981. Sadly.
I do love that Rasta music though. : )
And I took a funny shot of our Project Manager - named Bob. I dubbed it 'Bob ____ and The Wailers' (don't want to put his last name - because he probably wouldn't appreciate that - ha ha). He was standing in the tech area - and The Wailers were behind him - and I took the shot. It was funny. At least I thought it was funny - at the moment. Maybe you had to be there. : )
I may try to post some of those pics - when I have a moment to breathe. I am still running, running, running!! I leave tomorrow for Leesburg ... then for Vegas on Sunday. It's a crazy time for me!
By the way - if you haven't been to Franny's Blog - you might want to pop over and post a message to her. Her Mom just passed away ... and she is dealing with all of 'the family stuff'. I know she would appreciate hearing from her fellow Bloggettes ... and Bloggers.
I'll be touching in from time to time ... when I am touching down. : )
My best to all of you!
Brenda
P.S. Sylvia ... I love the 'Tag' thing ... and will try to do it ... some day. : )
brenda, you and i have a sense of humor that's alike. i thought your boss, bob _____ and the wailers was funny too, and i wasn't even there. *lol*
i talked to francesca on tuesday nite, when her mom passed. i told her i'd call her back, probably tomorrow or during the week.
safe travels.
hugs,
sylvia
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BRENDA!
hugs,
sylvia
Thanks Sylvia!
Hope everyone is doing well!
I've finally slowed down a little ... at least from the traveling standpoint. Still have lots of office work to do - as there is much to catch up on after being out of town so much. I can't really complain - because it is good to have work ... but it is a bit hard - when it is all jammed together in such a short space of time.
Now that I'm not traveling so much (for a bit) - I'm working on my plans to move. So ... I have lots to do to make that happen.
Anyway ... just wanted to stop in and give a little update ... and wish everyone well!
Later!
Brenda
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